I said on Saturday that once my Thesis class made dinner and took the Myers Briggs personality test (thus personally concluding with help from the myers briggs interpretation book that I should surround myself with solid, steady, contemplative people.) ANYHOW, HERE IS THE POEM that my friend JESSE LEHRICH wrote about that night, its pretty funny:
piss-drunk at 4am
and taking the bryers-miggs personality test,
the a’s are looking more like b’s
and the b’s more like a’s
with every sip.
approaching the end of the test
I’m hardly catching key words in each question anymore
but it doesn’t matter because I can just feel
a or b in my gut sometimes.
finally finishing up
I hastily add my scores
like at the end of a round of mini-golf.
turns out that I’m an ESPN or something
and I begin to read a description of my personality type.
I instantly want to tell miggs
that her test is full of shit
it keeps telling me that I’m the life of the party,
an entertainer and engaging conversationalist.
only here I am
piss-drunk at 4am and taking the bryers-miggs,
half-naked on my kitchen floor,
the refrigerator humming.
(the end of this poem is a lie, as are the endings to many poems. I LOVE YOU JESSE. looking forward to another seminar poetry class with you next year!)
(once I sent his poem called "post card" to my grandmother. on a post card. This was first semester Sophomore year when I was coasting great heights of maturity and absurdity and in love with HEROINE CHIC AESTHETIC. it was a dark time. ha)
Nothing worthwhile has ever been written on a postcard.
Nothing more than hellos and how are yous and declarations
of differences between foreign lands and homelands:
There are many trees here and it is always sunny.
A far cry from Chicago! (Haha!)
No, I doubt Thomas Jefferson declared our independence
on his trusty stack of Liberty Bell mailers:
(A nice Hello from Philadelphia! for King George)
nor did Einstein derive E=MC2 on the back of
an Aloha from Hawaii! palm tree.
Thank you very much for the postcard Grandma,
it was quite thoughtful,
but to be honest,
I don’t give a fuck about how dry the heat is in Arizona.
Look forward to seeing you for Thanksgiving.
Ode to Modern Technology
I accidentally said I love you
at the end of my text message
and she said it back and
we’ve been saying it ever since.
(I awwwww-ed for like an hour the first time I read this. Im such an unattractive sentimental person I could just shoot myself.)
(little things mean more to me than big things. I could just shoot myself over this one too.)
response from Jesse upon reading MY THESIS:
-This collection demonstrates your full Ali-ness, which is wonderful. I really love the whole collection.
-My favorite poems are Mama, Grammie, Me, which was so beautiful you honestly almost made me cry in the library, Handshakes, Blue Venus Above the Moon, Simple, Now Love is Free and Acid. All amazing! That being said, look for places to trim, it feels like there are poems that are not as strong as the rest of it. I would personally cut Who Needs Dick who has Bic? and Sunday, and maybe Foot to name a couple, but you should cut whichever ones you feel are the weakest.
-Pleeeeease take the time to make the formatting, capitalization, spacing, etc. perfect before you turn this in or send it out! Your poems are too good to have silly mistakes that make it not pretty!
-Try to utilize your great sense of
language to your advantage and not to against yourself! Sometimes you have lines that just make
you say “wow” because the language is so beautiful, and other times, as in
Sunday, it obscures the reader from understanding any literalness.
(awww....I will keep this letter forever.)