The Neon Zee

Ulysses teaches me a lesson

I have to admit. its so fun touting Ulysses around and feeling like the genius child who reads Ulysses. 

THAT IS

until I actually open Ulysses to do my homework reading and want to punch myself in the face to end the headache...

that is

i have a headache...until, of course,

like a moron, I start tearing up with joy when I stumble upon a pretty sentence. and i underline them as i weep. a pattern emerges: alot of those pretty-according-to-my-tastes-sentences have to do with death or love or masochism....and the other pretty sentences that fall out of the pattern are usually those written from the point of view of this girl girl girl character, Gurty Mcdowall....the fucking character who is an nonironic hyperfeminine self created romantic caricature. everything she thinks/says is hyperbolically tragibeautiful in the saddest way possible. and when i say sad, i mean pathetic...you just want to cover your eyes because you're so embarrassed for this poor aimless girl headed toward a pile of her own stewing pathetic romantic fuckery. anyway, her brain is really lovely for me to read when i don't find it embarassing. and her hyperbole strikes a chord with me. in other words, i am gurty mcdowall. FUCK.

 

so many sex dreams...too little patience. 

 

 

now im going to go gurty mcdowall myself into a pit of insomnia

xo<3xo

ali

written Sophomore year

Things by Themselves

 Black Holes FAQ (answers to frequently asked questions)

WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?

Loosely speaking, a black hole is a region of space that has so much mass concentrated in it that there is no way for a nearby object to escape its gravitational pull. In consequence, time is bent. Since our best theory of gravity at the moment is Einstein's general theory of relativity, we have to delve into some results of this theory to understand black holes in detail, but let's start of slow, by thinking about gravity under fairly simple circumstances.

 

who wants

to find these

broken things?

going nowhere-

coming from

where they’re still

going.

 

pieces of floating skeleton,

vertebrae,

eyelashes,

discarded poems

orbiting between mars

and jupiter,

an unfastened

belt of thing smithereens.

 

did we ever serve purpose

in a life time?

our clavicles,

fossilized tiger fangs,

adam’s missing rib.

pieces of things

that nobody knows anymore.

 

like the part of me

that loved you

more than itself.

where did our wreckage go?

 

astronomers

keep searching for

the broken things

 

finding only Time                                                      

twisted by      

so much

that not even

light can

Escape.

 

let alone

themselves.

GIIIIIII VAAAAAAAAAAAUUUN SHEEEEEEEE

Givenchy's Roberto Tisci has always liked albino models, saying, "they're very near my world"

duhhhh. fashion, why haven't you thought of albinos before? obviously the logical step...gap teeth are so last season. 

 

 

blah blah blah, NO?

 

 

Ulysses: one of the most important soliloquys in literature:

Molly's Monologue

..... a quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre just getting up in China now combing out their pigtails for the day well soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or two for his night office the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of itself let me see if I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the stars the wallpaper in Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave me was like that something only I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and try again so as I can get up early Ill go to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the place up someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we can have music and cigarettes I can accompany him I must clean the keys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I wear a white rose or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a rich big shop a 7½d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinky sugar 11d a couple of lbs of course a nice plant for the middle of the table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with fields of oats and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going about that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why because theyre afraid of hell on account of their bad conscience ah yes I know them well who was the first person in the universe before there was anybody that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so there you are they might as well try to stop the sun from rising tomorrow the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the bit of seedcake out of my mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors playing all birds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called it on the pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girls laughing in their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in the morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the gowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with the old windows or the posadas glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about serene with his lamp and 0 that awful deepdown torrent 0 and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

i admit...im excited to go home to this for christmas. 

in other news, my general philosophy of performing is not to imagine the audience naked. oh no. imagine you are naked yourself and screaming

FUCK YOU!!!

 to the universe.

 

usually that works out for me. 

performances need to have purpose or else they flop. nerves are NOT enough. 

 

I could stick around and get along with you, hello.
It doesn't really mean that I'm into you, hello.

----

 p.s. prada wants to wish you a muccia christmas with some limited addition fuckery:

golden underwear velvet teddybear keychains for 800000000$$$ dollars. no better way to say i love you.

thats what i always say

p.p.s.

I know I've been down on bitches fashion and fashion blogger bitches lately

but

this. is why i love fashionbloggers. and fashion.

(she made those shoes and called them "an orgy of texture": rubber, leather, mink)

ha!

Sally: Are you all right?  Baron Munchausen: Am I dead?  Sally: No.  Baron Munchausen: Blast!  Sally: Who are you really?  Baron Munchausen: [groans]  Sally: Baron Munchausen isn't real, he's only in stories.  Baron Munchausen: Go away! I'm trying to die!  Sally: Why?  Baron Munchausen: Because I'm tired of the world and the world is evidentally tired of me.  Sally: But why? Why?  Baron Munchausen: Why, why, why! Because it's all logic and reason now. Science, progress, laws of hydraulics, laws of social dynamics, laws of this, that, and the other. No place for three-legged cyclops in the South Seas. No place for cucumber trees and oceans of wine. No place for me.

LIST OF SHIT MOM OF SHOES SELF PROFESSEDLY "COLLECTS" "CURATES" (HOARDS)

1.little dogs/neurotic dogs

2."perverse" plush toys

3. plastic animal toys 

4. large metal objects with faces

5. belts

6. large shiny objects

7. large shiny objects with faces

8. fabric trim

9. vintage jewelry boxes

10. t-shirts

11. levis

12. jewelry in general

13. fur coats

14. food recipes stolen from martha stewart

15. stories about her model days in Tokyo....(these days are approximately 365)

16. SHOES

17. shoes with rhinestones

18. shoes with studs

19. disco ball light fixtures

20. animal print rugs

21. bejeweld animals

23. large fake jewels

(but this list includes only what she has admitted to.)

click here to read the personal blog "founded" by 55 year old Judy Aldridge. its a real hoot if you want to lose some weight by barfing all over your own meagre self and un-thoughtfully curated possessions.  

 p.S.

 if you really want to hate fashion forever....click here and watch that video.

 

it makes me hate myself. baying of the fashion donkeys: BALMAAAA AAAA AAAAA- BLAAAA AAAA AACK PAAAAA AAANT- PRO EEEEENZAAAAA AAAA- GIIIIII VAAAAAUUUUUN CHEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

brats. raised by brats. 

 

raze it to the ground, all this fashion. lets wear rags and curate multiple personalities. and speak in tongues. and rebel against our mothers. 

 

on another note: why is teen angst so fashionable these days? being ANGSTY isnt whats fashionable- oh no- being nostalgic about being angsty is whats fashionable. 

 

irony disguised as self-aware dreaminess.

 

i hate it. 

i've said it once and i'll say it again: 

I HATE IRONY. its just sad. 

when it comes to fashion...listen to WendyB *WEAR WHAT YOU LOVE*

and don't EVER be dismissive of what you love. don't dishonor your love with irony. 

there are higher forms of wit, you know. 

sarcasm is the lowest form.

 

and irony is not ranked much higher in my books.....

(IF I HAD A BOOK)

which i don't. 

Blah Blah Blog

if people look at me funny I assume its because they've read my blog

 

man...i don't even fucking know

p.s. Im having major graduation paranoia lately. ok daily. minutely. secondly. its like i cant do anything without tying it to graduating. also, if i see someone on facebook who i might want to keep, i have to friend them to make sure i'll have the chance to keep them. just in case. also, the whole graduating thing has inspired me not to censor myself at all and not to pretend i like or put up with anyone i don't like or want to put up with. 

its all so exhausting anyway. 

who has time for reigning in their personality. its alot of effort for absolutely zero benefit. 

next year im going to have to be professional at something....SO I FIGURE gotta get all the hedonism and over the top-ness out of the way before im paid to keep it locked up inside me...

  

i call this my andy warhol mermaid skirt. i love it. 

 

in other news, Sam HJ came over last night and showed me this movie:

SOOOO GOOD! its directed by the Terry Gilliam...the guy who directs Monty Python, directed Brazil, directed the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (Heath Ledger's last movie.)

WATCH IT.

FUCKING WATCH IT!!!!

 

SOOOO good. also, Uma Thurman is in it (plays Aphrodite) and Robin Williams is in it...(he plays the moon's head.)

"HALLELUJAH THE BODY IS DEAD,

LONG LIVE THE HEAD!

LOVE LIVE THE HEAD!"

merry soon to be christmas biitchess

(i love putting bitches at the end of exclamations....it just FEEEEELS good)

 

the series of lady dior videos starring marion cotillard:

 

nothing like striptease to spice up the holiday. also, did you know that the naked and compassionate lady dior can cure paralysis?   

SEE YOU AT LEVIATHAN ALIVE.

poetry readers (6-8PM SATURDAY):

me (ali abraham) 
sarah delaney 
becca schwartz 
jack williamson (maybe)
owen bean
janne barklis 
steven dama 
gabrielle goodbar 
eric wigton
andrea tudhope
belle bueti
polly sinclair
hannah concannon 
jose montijo (maybe)
danielle bouchard 
alegra roybal
Sam Johnston

Ben Cronin,

and Olivia wall

 

LIVE MUSIC (9-1AM SATURDAY):

EVERAL GIRLS GALORE
LEATHER BONES 
DITHER 
SIX TO MIDNIGHT 
and the incredible EMMA PETERSON

A beautiful and literary Christmas present for someone with attitude:

Consider it. Sister Wolf is a beautiful lady with alot of attitude. And also a red lipstick aficionado and inspiration.