The Neon Zee

WHAT THE FUCK COLORADO

You are so cold right now!

I have no choice but to fuck around on the internetzz and post the leviathan covers!! 





 

 

Fuckk off, CC...YOUR DREADLOCKS are MY RED LIPSTICK

"Perhaps I’m indulging in a bit of my usual anti-intellectualism and insistence on the casual/lowbrow here but I find it, uh, more than a little bit preposterous to suggest that the fact that we can think critically about fashion means that we ought to do that ALL of the time, or that appreciation of some aspects of fashion somehow indicates that our criticism and analysis must be posturing, or that the fact that some aspects of fashion conflict with other issues I am passionate about somehow invalidates either of those.  Enjoyment can certainly lead into a more critical, open-minded conversation about related issues, or even be read as empowering or a reclamation precisely because of the perceived oppression — and I feel like plenty of the blog comment exchanges on many of my posts illustrate this on a very basic, casual, conversational level.  Is it not more effective to think about and dissect societal issues when we are also interested in the topics, and is it not more effective to strive for change within channels which reflect our personal interests or even our career expertise?  I would maybe even go so far as to argue that a feminist interest in fashion could be reclaimed in the same way that other stereotypically “feminine” tasks (baking, knitting) have been reclaimed as not only feminist but inherently somewhat subversive and thereby function as a way to access and understand further attitudes towards gender. 

Because I do love fashion, and I do think it’s fun, and I don’t find it entirely anti-feminist. I like fashion for all the reasons everyone likes fashion: I love texture and colour and form.  I love the social connectivity of it, both the positive (how many friends have I made based initially on being attracted to each others’ style?) and the problematic (how many people have I dismissed, cruelly, because of their clothes? why do we feel uncomfortable when dressed inappropriately in a social situation? what are the ways that race and class boundaries are also defined, illustrated, and enforced through style?)  I love playing dress-up and I love costume (anyone who has seen me gleefully putting on lipstick and teasing my hair and parading around in 18 different outfits before leaving the house can attest to this) and I love the effects that presenting myself in certain ways has on my personality or mood that day.  (High waisted skirt and glasses and noisy heels? BUSINESS. DON’T MESS.)  Beyond that, I am a compulsive mental pack-rat of cultural and social references, and I completely get off on compulsively mentally pack-ratting the names and images of clothes produced by the designers who recodify, concretize, and commercialize those references into garments, in ways that are sometimes beautiful or brilliant and other times hideous or problematic. 

And I find that concretization and recycling of references to be, honestly, inspiring and thought-provoking in an associative and creative way; in addition, I find the problems with them to be an extremely accessible pathway to examine and think about the larger social issues which are actually at play there.  I like Rad Hourani’s designs, Tisci’s Givenchy, and Rick Owens’ man-skirts because they look nifty and are beautifully made and convey an aesthetic which I am drawn to — and I like them because it calls attention to the ways in which gender binaries are enforced through the convenience of such a polarity in runways, production, and marketing and whether or not their collections successfully challenge anything there. I like Balmain’s leather jackets because they’re effing gorgeous and remind me of all kinds of ass-kicking female characters I dig, but also because they call attention to issues of overt female sexualization, body image, problems of military inspiration in fashion, and what exactly is going on with the rise of “fast fashion” and what it means that an exact copy of that jacket is on sale at F21 two months later after being produced in questionably legal conditions by a some underpaid underage third-world laborers.  These things are not entirely mutually exclusive, and I think we ought to give everyone a little more benefit of the doubt for having a casual or aesthetic interest in things which are also problematic - or, rather, to re-frame all these perceived conflicts not as a means to invalidate or dismiss, but rather as channels for conversation, constructive criticism, and understanding."

-Good Morning Midnight 

 

 p.s. this is really pretty. and "yellow" is one of my favorite indulgent songs. i only listen to it when im feeling super ridiculous. but for some reason listening to a cover doesn't have the same effect of supreme romantic angstyness. 

p.s.

i love clothing that makes getting undressed difficult. being harnessed or strapped or laced into something. its kinda like....sometimes i feel outta control...but poetry keeps me in line (the goal of making it and knowing more about it...etc) but then in order to achieve poetry, i have to become unwound in myself...and explore and understand all the realms of crazy....so then...my control becomes my insanity...and all the single minded obsessive channeling of myself into a state of chaos.... and the complicated ritual of lacing up the fluid lines of the body into a piece of boned brocade? the invention of something by humans that trains the body into an altered state? the organization of flesh? 

 

poetry is the corset equivalent 

?

anyway, i want the naked bit of s&m nothing posted above. its beyond beautiful. and i am beyond broke. 

my other  best story! 

mermaid Ariel for "Royal Winter Ball"

 

 

 

pardon the face. but check out my shark tooth necklace! it was Sarah B's little brothers...but then it got too dirty and he bought another one and gave her the dirty one. and then i wore it. 

that was my best story ever. right?

this is my ass. 

it is sparkly. 

you likey?

ok so finally a new post and its a fucking vain one. but I love this outfit. 

wish i could wear it every day...sadly the world would excommunicate me if i did that... 

 

(Cam B is dressing as Tritan!)

(my stupid face again, sarah...doing arts and crafts kiddie royalty and sasha...hipster royalty)

(me, sarah and the boys just trying to match our enthusiasm.)

(I love you jordan and mark!)

IN OTHER NEWS: 

TIHS IS THE BEST QUOTE EVER FROM THE SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE, WHICH, YES, I WATCHED TODAY:

"the bad ones screwya! and the good ones screwya!!! and the rest don't know how!!!"

 

so true...so true..

FML

I've gotten to the point where I'm always stressed and anxious about graduating, read: No practical skills aside from an ability to get people excited about themselves as artists and writers.

(I THINK thats practical?)

ALSO: being the disorganized moron that I am, I have so many things to get together in the next month. Its terrifying.

I'll begin posting frequently again soon...but right now I'm too anxious to even use this blog in the way I usually use it: forum for ranting and raving and posting things I'm interested in to DE-STRESS.

The funny thing is that, as someone who is single mindedly interested in pursuing poetry (and community building for poets via literary magazines and organized readings and workshopping) my advantages are bizarre. I have to focus on focusing myself to set up a life that allows me to write and get published and eventually edit/teach. I can do that anywhere...so for me its most important to choose a location that will make me happy: ie city. ie non-scary city. ie somewhere im somewhat familiar with.

this leaves me with two options, San Francisco or Denver. that narrows it down but also limits my job options= strength AND weakness.

the long term goal is to apply to an MFA program (creative writing program) and establish connections in the writing community. I hate making connections but I love being someone else's connection because I hate asking for help but love to give it: strength and weakness.

Long term goal the success of which resides on my willpower, singlemindedness, luck and my ability to charm people= strength and weakness.

 

its funny... again and again I find myself applying my general belief that a poet's best work will coalesce when ignoring strengths and focusing on honing weaknesses...(as the strengths naturally emmerge without masturbating them into overkill) to reality.

so maybe my editing and workshop skills are practical after all.

?

ON the surprise i feel when people tell me they read my blog

 

"oh BUT ITS RIDICULOUS my blog is retarded. RETARDED."

"yeah but its the joy that a retarded kid has when he's lost in chuckie cheeses in the ballpit" 

not a humangirl but an idea that repeats itself

Poem written in the 1st grade (one of my first?)

UNTITLED

I'd never eat broccoli because

I canot stand the taste;

I'd rather nibble purple wallpaper,

or my homework, or someone's waist

I would eat brown wood

I would eat a ball,

I might even eat my little sister, Monika

but broccoli? No? not at all.

my one true masterpiece...was a stroke of beginners luck and good sick humor

figures

p.s.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU LIKE A SONG AND THEN SOMEBODY ELSE WHO SUCKS AND IS REALLY SHITTY LIKES THE SAME SONG?

doesn't that BLOW?!!!!!

 

p.p.s. dear boys who might read this for lord knows what reason 

PAINTING YOUR TORSO AND FACE LIKE THE DAY OF THE DEAD AND THEN WEARING A LONG SHEER BATHCURTAIN OVER YOUR HEAD IS WHATS IN STYLE FOR YOU.

the fashion gods have spoken.

the style and ease ratio

i hate jimmy choo. 

i hate chshoooz. they are way too im-trying-to-be-a-working-woman-and-also-sexy-but-not-make-a statement-about-anything-except-that-im-a-serious-worker,-yo,-but-ALSO-SEXY. and also the design of all choooz is borderline elegant with a side of utilitarian. because, DUH, the working woman is utilitarian first and HER UTERUS DOES NOT GLOW IN THE DARK. or anything like that. BUT SHE ISNT MANLY, NO-O, she's  A WOMAN remember that! WOMEN ARE A FORCE IN THE WORKWORLD- look out good old boys club! because i am also sexy.

I am a jimmy choo. don't mess with me, but maybe you can check me out and maybe you can fuck me after work, k?

ALSO: i hate peeptoes and jimmy choo specializes in that action. peep toes are the camel toe of shoewear. 

boots with peep toes are offensive. and boots with that strange exposed heal strap are perplexing and annoying. 

maybe this hatred for peep toes is a symptom of living in colorado weather or maybe i just have ugly toes and have subconsciously evolved my opinion as a means for covering my flaws. 

IN OTHER NEWS:

I have decided since I only have 6 months left of cc-dom, Im going to try to acculturate myself to CC. it started with the flannel and now im adopting the slouchy hat. 

i love the slouchy hat. 

i always wondered why knit hats look so damned stupid on me- Its because i was not being eazy enough in the ratio of style and ease:

see? kind of badass 10 year old skater mixed with tweaking inmate

 AND THEN KABAM! check out how easy and cool i am at being chill? 

also the better lighting in the second picture helps. but WHATEVS. i came upon it naturally. the instant i slouched my hat by pulling on the back and then pressing on the front band to push my hair into my face more....i came upon the light=

IM COOL AS SHIT ie STEAZY. AND SO READY TO BE BACK IN COLORADO!!!

p.s. not only do i have the steaziest of ratios represented by the slouchy hat, i also have alot of texture:

between me and my calvins...pucci

oh lord. if that isnt an awesome and terrible fashionblogging title, i dont know what is. 

Gwyneth paltrow inspired in me a love for the 90s clean calvin look. with a Pucci gown. 

here it is:

i think its perfect. even though usually im all about the romantic/gothic/mideival/princess/sexxxaholic/over the top bullshizzzz 

so check out these other dresses that are actually CALVIN and made it to the golden globes....(except the last one which did its paparazzi time at another gwyneth premier)

I can't help but be seduced by the clean athletic healthy golden child look of it.  Maybe my craving for order and simplicity in life has translated into my taste in clothing...but anyway,

isn't it just beautiful and refreshing???

 

OF COURSE....the dramatic beauties posted below MADE THE GLOBES WORTH WATCHING all on their own....(lord knows the longevity of my patience does not extend to movie length most of the time. also, movies are difficult for me because i cry, run away, stop them at the scary parts...etc. I like watching the same movies over and over again because usually i can handle them if im prepared for all the emotional parts ahead of time...but anyway...MOVING ALONG...)

look at all the beauty!!!! my five favorite genres of dressing up!!! and all were represented!

(Burberry Prorsum) 
1. mostly Romantic and demure with subtle seductive notes (leg slit and open back!) so gorgeous....

(Versace)
2. lady in red cleavage sexxxpot 

(Atelier Versace)
3. glamorous witch (although angelina jolie probably couldn't look anything other than an exotic beautiful witch...but the dress is right up her alley in that it brings that vibe all on its own)

(Marchessa)

4. fairy! sparkle pantzz! princesss! bitchessss

 

(Vivienne Westwood)

5. Rock Star. Helena Bonham Carter. (usually in this blog I don't use capitalization so consistently...but Helena Bonham Carter deserves those capital letters because she is wearing mismatched and clashing shoes. which is just PERFECT.)

and those be my 5  favorite genres of existence. 

 

 

p.s. speaking of singleminded romantic obsessions....two summers ago when i went to greece (for the 2 month long Odyssey class at CC,) all i wanted in the world was a romantic white dress. to be healthy and tan in. and to NOT accessorize. and to WEAR ON A SAILBOAT. 

this obsession spawned another obsession: a white obsession. a pure innocent virgin goddess obsession. a grecian statue obsession. a monochromatic white statement of luxurious whiteness. 

 

here is the dress that started it all (im wearing it tonight for THE LAST SUPPER with my parents before i head back to CO tomorrow=woooooohooooofreeeeedom!!!! freeedom!!!! freeeeeeeedom!)

it was a long and adruous hunt for the perfect romantic white dress...one which spanned hydra mikonos ithaka and athens.

finally i found one in athens. 

 

and then after that i was broke. 

 

but dressed like a princess,

so who cares?

 

too funny